Man Mumbles Muzzily

Yesterday a regular showed up during the day, instead of in the evening when his friends are there. We will call him Pint of Carling (PoC) because that is what he drinks and he makes a big deal of my knowing his drink, which I know despite his being neither creative nor charming and the fact that he drinks a really run of the mill drink (pint of lager? everyone drinks pints of lager! puh-leeze) (the secret to getting a bartender to remember you/your drink is 1.) to order something simple and memorable, maybe in a different glass or with an exact number of ice cubes, like Simon who orders a double vodka in a coke glass, filled to the top with ice and topped off with soda. easy peasy so the bartender won't mind but different and 2.) going to the bar A LOT and ALWAYS ordering the same unique beverage). As his friends weren't around to talk to him, he talked to me. Actually, he talked at me. I can't understand his thick, regional, British accent and he had drunk quite a few pints by the time he ambled off. Also, from what I COULD extract from his muzzy speeches he wasn't talking about anything interesting (the fact the he's a builder (=construction worker) and that the television is going digital and about tv shows that I had never heard of, because I do not have access to tv here). I said "yeah" a lot and gave him a lot of tight-lipped, un-encouraging (not discouraging, un-encouraging. that spelling was on purpose) smiles. The conversation went something like this:

Our Hero: (perkily) same again?
Pint of Carling: yeah. muzzlemuzzlemuzzledronebuzzz...where do you go, when you go out?
OH: oh, I don't go out that often, but I like the Eagle.
PoC: wizzlewazzlebuzzdronewhumpfwhumpf... what's you're drink?
OH: beer usually, but it depends.
PoC: Oh, whooshhibblehobblespinklydoinkeydoinkhoohahsnapcracklepop
OH: yeah?
PoC: You know Brut bottles, the aftershave, you know Brut? In the army whizzmumblemumbleqwertyrowbibblebabble...
OH: Sure (nods heads sagely, has a faint idea that he is talking about aftershave)
PoC: The label after that one (gestures towards a bottle of Smirnoff over OH's right shoulder, it has a red label) it's black. Over there they call it afterdark (I don't really remember) because it's over 100% and they can't classify it.
OH: Like Everclear?
PoC: Those girls and their cokes out there (note: there was no one else in the pub at this point)... buzzbuzzsoxrockspoxhoobywhatyinthespimspamtincanblarblarblar... with bottles of vodka in their purses, you know what I mean (and leers at OH as if he's said something naughty, which sends the alarm bells clanging in OH's head and she wonders if he's hitting on her and that she'll have to find a way of politely putting him off without irritating him and the other regulars, then realizes that he's talking about people going to a pub and sneaking booze in so they won't have to pay for it, and the emergency subsides)

OH smiles and mumbles something about having to put glasses away and she escapes for a few minutes (but he lingers, and she has to talk again, though she gives up all hope of understanding him at this point because he is about 7 pints under and could be speaking in tongues for all she knows. that's enough third person for a while).

On a better note, I had a nice converstation later that day with another regular (whom I could understand) about immigrants in schools and the language problems and gang problems that come with many people from other cultures converging in one place (do you converge on or do you converge in? amend the previous sentence in your head if you know the correct form/care). It takes all kinds to keep a pub afloat.

I looked at my phone today to check the time (I don't often look at my phone, which is why I can start this story with that sentence) and noticed that I had a text message. I thought to myself: "hurrah! I love getting text messages!" and eagerly opened it up (no pedantry, please. I realize that I did not physically open my phone to get to the message).
It was from a temp agency that I half signed up with (did the internet sign-up and never got around to going in for the rest of my registration because I got a job that I actually wanted). The agency places people temporarily as secretaries and data-entry people and telephone answerers etc. BUT! to me, lucky little me, they sent a message asking me to call them because they need a cleaner on Mondays.
A CLEANER?!?
I decline to call them back.