Actual Oktoberfest Post!

Europe has a different attitude towards alcohol (obviously) than the USA does. This manifests itself mostly in the preparations that European governments make for Friday and Saturday nights. For example, in Amsterdam they put up extra urinals for men on the weekend because they have a problem with public peeing (they also had electrified wires that shocked the malefactor as soon as the stream hit the wire, they also have special piss-deflectors that they set up in corners, which were metal panels angled in such a way as to deflect urine back up into the pissers face/pants etc). It feels as though they sigh and say "well, just don't pee in the doorways and stay out of people's yards." It makes sense, in most European cities you can get anywhere either by walking or taking their spectacular, safe, public transit and therefore fewer people drive.
Munich, where they have Oktoberfest, welcomed us with open arms. I had a warm, fuzzy, and blurry time there. The festival organizers put a lot of thought into it, there were tons of roller coasters and huge white tents filled with smoke and warmth and hundreds of jolly, beery people, all wearing lederhosen and dirndl skirts. I asked someone why he actually owned lederhosen and he weaved a little, raised his hands, and slurred: "It's traditional."
Each enormous tent is sponsored by a brewer and they only serve that beer inside that tent. They also sell overpriced barbarian food in the tents, I saw them roasting an entire pig carcass at tent. Each tent is decorated in the "Bavarian" style and is packed with picnic tables and has a raised platform where the band plays. Every 10 minutes or so the band stops playing it's oompapa music and launches into a German cheer that I got pretty good at faking towards the end. You will only be served if you are sitting at a table. People reserve tables for after a certain time (4 or 5 pm) but before then you can sit wherever there is room, or wherever you can convince people to let you in. Oktoberfest is full of good cheer, as no one has any plans but getting sloshed and singing in German. So, it's not that hard to find someone who will let you sit with them. In fact, they frequently become your good friends for the next few hours. You drink together, compare stories etc. We sat next to some other Americans first and talked trash about how each other were voting in the then upcoming election. Another time we sat with some older Germans, one of whom told me to marry Ben because of his good hair and good teeth.
Because we didn't reserve a table we would get there early (11-ish) drink a few liters and then ride the roller coasters. One operator let Ben and I ride again for free-zies, which was pretty damn sweet.
Once it got dark we'd squeeze into the (cold) outside tables and have another liter (I tried a shandy one night and it was horrible. It tasted like perfumed or soapy beer and I couldn't finish it) and talk to our table mates until we staggered home.
Oktoberfest could have been skeazy and gross, but there were plenty of bathrooms and all of the guards didn't care about people acting drunk and there were no obviously predatory men there. It wasn't until the night that you saw the effects of the vast amount of alcohol that was being consumed. Around 11 pm people would start to prop up their passed out friends in corners and you would see piles of vomit and chains of people supporting each other as they tried to walk home.
There were also little shows, we saw a promo for one and then somehow got into the theater (for free, I have no idea how that happened. I blame Evan for being enormous and tough-looking and just walking through the guys collecting money).
We noticed a rather sedate auditorium the last day. It wasn't advertising anything but the 3 Euro fee to gain admittance into this rather nondescript little building. We decided to try it, and it was so worth the ticket price.
There was a large, low cone in the center of the room that was about 12 feet in diameter. An announcer would announce an age group (say young-ish boys) and they would leap over the barrier and race for the center of the cone and sit there, facing outwards. Then the cone would begin to spin. The outermost people would be spun off of the cone. Then the cone would speed up and more people would be sloughed off. At some point a guy sitting up with the announcer would release a large, stuffed, pumpkin-shaped ball that was hanging from the ceiling just above the top of the cone. There was another cord attached to the pumpkin that this guy would use to control it and basically harass the people in the center with it until they were spun off as well. If that wasn't enough, once there were only 1 or 2 people left 2 burly guys in crewcuts would begin lassoing people so if you got far enough you had to hit the pumpkin out of your face and jump through lassos and keep your balance on the spinning disk. People took it VERY seriously. In order to keep their balance people were holding onto or laying on top of perfect strangers with ruthless looks on their scary, scary faces. They did everything short of actual violence to stay in the center for the longest time possible. I have NO idea how that game was invented, but it was incredible to watch all these lederhosen and dirndl people pushing eath other off of a spinning cone and fight a flying pumpkin and lassos.