Last night some dude tried to wipe a booger out of my nose for me.
S. and I had finished work early and decided to celebrate with drinks at a pub. There, I noticed a ruckus over S.'s left shoulder. It was some dude who saw the bit of my septum piercing retainer peeping out and assumed that it was a booger. He then came at my face with a cocktail napkin, swaying drunkenly and saying "waitaminnit, hol' still. I'll geddit" while I bawled "it's a piercing IT'S A PIERCING" futilely.
His friend was embarrassed and bought me a drink to make up for it.
The whole thing was pretty damn funny.
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