In Summation

I would like to collect all of the blog posts that folks write and publish while they are having trouble sleeping and bind it into a book. Such a book would be a thousand pages long.

Hm, actually I don't want to read such things because I am interested only in the insomnia-posts of people that I care about, so, scratch that (metaphorically, because if you are reading this, you can clearly see that I haven't literally scratched that).

But then, insomnia could be a great reason to post, and be rather inspiring as insomnia is caused by being unable to turn off your brain and letting all thoughts roll around and around your head picking up momentum and mass (like a snowball) until the pressure is too much and you either pass out or get up and go to work as if you actually did go to sleep.

I suppose for you readers that I should sum up the last 5? 6? months. I was a hostess and a server for 6 months, and then I added preschool teacher to that list of jobs, until about 3 weeks ago, when I quit the restaurant and became a full time preschool teacher. I teach 4 year-olds their letters, basic math principles, and Spanish.

Have I mentioned that I do not know any Spanish (beyond yo quiero taco bell, salsa verde, and various naughty words that Ana taught me)? But, the children that I teach cannot read, and therefore I can think/read ahead of them. Also, they don't know Spanish, therefore I can make up and stall as much as I like. My biggest fear is that some excited and well-meaning parent will say "oh, you're the Spanish teacher? I spent every summer growing up in Argentina!" and then spew Spanish at me while I smile awkwardly and panic inwardly. Ultimately, though, I feel that it reflects worse on my employer than on me, because it's not completely my fault that I am better equipped to teach French, but it's their fault they were willing to hire me to teach Spanish. And thus the blame is neatly shifted upwards.

I work for a gigantic, world wide daycare corporation. Which means that I get screwed whenever the company decides that they need to tighten their belts. The execs make a decision based on charts and graphs and reds and blacks and bottom lines and that decision gets shifted (as quickly as possible) down the chain of command and the next thing I know, there is my perky boss on the phone telling me to go ahead and take Monday off, to, you know, get so R and R. But, I can't afford to take a load off.

I am never working for a big corporation again, everyone's all disconnected. Each level looks at the one above it and the one below it as a group out to get them or screw them over. There are a lot of "they"s thrown around, when shouldn't all of us be on the same team? But no, those of us on the bottom rung feel unrepresented and unheard, and therefore as cogs of an anonymous machine, we do our best to either screw the company over or to take advantage of it.

If you're employees aren't on your side, they will steal from you and feel perfectly justified in doing so.

"You freeze my raise this year? Fine, I am stealing $50 worth of cleaning supplies and toilet paper from you each month for the next year."

"You insist on selling your employees drinks at the price you charge customers? Well, it's true I will therefore not drink in your bar. But I will manage to liberate a few bottles of wine from your cellar."

I am feeling cranky and rather ready to move on. But, I like to kids. They are such odd little critters. I like ages 1 through 4 the best. They are completely different beings. Any older and I can't forgive them for not being adults (frankly, I can't forgive many grown-ups for not being adults) and I try to leave them alone.

There is one small boy who makes messes for the sheer joy of cleaning them up. His newest favorite thing to do is to stack chairs. He only seems interested in stacking them at appropriate times, like just before I mop. He gets a little gleam in his eye whenever I wheel the bucket into the room.

Then there's the little boy who dances a perfect robot. It's amazing.

More later.